Señor Carlos Estevez has signed on with Dr. Drew to STAR in the next season of Sober House. Although, due to certain contract agreements, the VH1 show will now be entitled Two and a Half Crack Rocks. There will be Tiger Blood on set at all times, and that every episode will end with Charlie boy “winning“.

Well now we finally know why his previous show sucked so badly- DRUGS. Drugs are only funny if you are high too.

Obama Finally Gets Canonized.

Now Fight. To the Death. Preferably.

Los Angeles Lakers star and all around Goof, Lamar Odom has stepped out of (the) bounds of marriage and Slam Dunked another woman. Seen here, (in TJ perhaps?) getting all cozy with Sherri Shepherd impersonator and all around Troll, woman dressed like a minimum -wage- working- elf. That is what we here at Gayskeleton are calling her for no other reason than the truth.  Khloe has been reportedly going Khuietly Khrazy over the news.

Ground Breaking. Earth Shattering. Katy Perry is human, and just like mostly everyone else inhabiting this planet, is ugly. Now you can feel a little more confident, a tad more self assured. Now that WE are all equals. And that smoke and mirrors (and auto-tune) can only bring you the superfical joy of worldwide popularity and millions of dollars.

WTF’rs is my Superficial Joy!?!

The Demi Lovoto Sex Tape is Here!!!

And she is one perverted Mouse-Sex-Teer!!!

All we can say is, a Ron Jeremy Cameo??? Demi you are killing it. Dead.

KOBE BRYANT RAPES BROADCASTER’S EYE HOLES WITH ORPHAN’S DREAMS

Tray Kirby

Never tell Kobe what he cannot do or he’ll do it and do it to you hard. A Broadcaster TRAGICALLY makes the FATAL mistake of questioning Kobe’s ability to make a shot from his WEAK left side and gets his NARDS handed to him without any pleases or thank-yous. Space filler SPACE FILLER Space Filler. Kobe DECIMATES his prey (see: points finger) after making yet another God Destroying IMPOSSIBLE shot. OMG THIS IS TOO CRAZY FOR COMPREHENSION… I JUST ORGASMED.

Actual Article Quote-

“I guess one way to deal with a nagging right finger injury is to add a left-handed hook shot in your 13th NBA season. Between that and his penchant for lefty buzzer beaters, eventually Kobe won’t even need that right hand. Maybe he can donate it to the Gatorade Sports Science Institute for testing or cloning purposes.”

MAYBE HE JUST MIGHT.

Watching the Presidential Debates was like watching political paint dry. Boring!!! Who needs the pretense of questions when answers will be only half given at best. They are both liars and panders, they have to be. Hell, you lie on your job interviews, “my weakness? Uh… I never… give up? ” Crock of shit.

Here’s how we pick the President. We toss a lit fuse bomb and who ever can catch it by raising his arms above his head wins.

It must be said that you need to be phyiscally fit before taking office. How can you be a lame, aging, dying President when even the littlest jobs require physicals?!?

“The world just got a little less funny,” said “Oceans” co-star George Clooney.

Don Cheadle, another member of the “Oceans” gang, concurred: “This is a very sad day for many of us who knew and loved Bernie. He brought so much joy to so many. He will be missed, but heaven just got funnier.”

Apparently Heaven’s now funnier and the World, lesser so. God loves a good Dick Joke.